Monthly Archives: December 2013

What You Can Expect from Your Cats for Christmas


Image Gather around the Christmas tree, little ones,” I told the puddies today. “Time for caroling.” Angela closed her eyes. McDuff went into the basement. And Sinead ran under the bed. “Now, puddies,” I said sternly. “Resistance is futile. So you may as well all come out…because Mommy has a surprise.”

“Listen up,” I persisted, “Mommy’s composed her very own version of your favorite holiday song…The Twelve Days of Christmas…complete with a photo slide show. Here, sit, watch, and listen.” So they did. It’s been a day and a half now. And I haven’t seen hide nor hair of them. I didn’t think the song was THAT bad. Here, judge for yourself:

On the first day of Christmas, my felines gave to me, a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my felines gave to me two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my felines gave to me three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my felines gave to me four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my felines gave to me…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the six day of Christmas, my felines gave to me six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my felines gave to me seven goldfish swimming, six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my felines gave to me, eight half-dead spiders, seven goldfish swimming, six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my felines gave to me, nine snakes-a-wriggling, eight half-dead spiders, seven goldfish,swimming, six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my felines gave to me ten chunky hairballs, nine snakes-a-wriggling, eight half-dead spiders, seven goldfish swimming, six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my felines gave to me eleven empty bags of cat treats, ten awfully chunky hairballs, nine snakes-a-wriggling, eight half-dead spiders, seven goldfish swimming, six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head in a pine tree.

And on the twelfth day of Christmas, my felines gave to me, twelve kittens purring, nine snakes-a-wriggling, eight half-dead spiders, seven goldfish,swimming, six mice-a-squirming…five catnip toys…four smelly socks, three paper bags, two bottle caps, and a squirrel head….in….a pine tree……

Christmas Blessings….